So, this this is a new blog. By an inexperienced blogger. Throwing some words out into the webverse.
And boy am I intimidated.
For me, writing has occupied this spot in my life akin to something between meditation and masturbation. I do it because it makes me feel good. But it’s also an introspective journey into the deep recesses of my mind. And I always do it alone.
When someone walks in on me writing… let’s just say it gets awkward. I get performance issues. And they always ask why I’m so sweaty.
So why, you ask, are you exposing your writing to the wide world of EVERYONE WHO WILL EVER EXIST FROM THIS POINT ON? I mean, come on. These selfies and blogs are the styrofoam and lead filled diapers that fill the garbage dump that is the web. They won’t go away. Someday a grandchild will look at me and say, “Gramps… Really? One post deep and you went all creepy sexual metaphor? Sheesh. And why was that cat so grumpy?”
Well, as with anyone who spends too much time convincing themselves they have talent, eventually that “talent” needs to be shared. Exposed. Displayed in all it’s inadequacies so that the delusions of grandeur can be reigned in.
That, and I’ve used up all the goodwill my wife can muster after shoving my writing at her for the past nine years.
“Honey, check out this!”
“That’s great dear. Now please, put that away. We have guests coming over.”
“But you didn’t even look! It’ll be a quick one, I swear!”
“That’s what you said last time. You’re not spending the entire night locked in the office crying again while we have guests.”
“Maybe if you appreciated my prose…”
“We’ve been over this. It’s not your verbiage. It’s how you use it.”
“…I wasn’t crying…”
“I’m sure you weren’t. Now go put some pants on please.”
And who doesn’t love dutiful support? I mean, seriously, I milk that for all it’s worth. But eventually, the first step towards legitimacy must be taken. And that step is…
And that, my… umm… possible future readers that have dug through a backlog of what I’m sure will be a luscious catalogue of prime choice posts to find the humble beginnings of this word wrangler, is why I’m starting this.
Where it goes, nobody knows…